Kiss it Better
by sogoodatmending
Summary: Six months later and it all played in his mind. But six months later, the feeling of her in his arms was only a memory. And six months later the memory was fading. Six months later and the night Julia died still plagues Eli's mind. He sits in his cell, he lays on his bed, covers his head and closes his eyes. Oneshot.


**Kiss it Better**

There was a laugh. A beautiful, golden laugh. It came often in moments like these. The most precious of moments in his mind. When the world seemed to stop and they were the only people on the planet. And lately they seemed to happen a lot. Mainly because she was too scared or angry to go home. It wasn't always like that though. Just within the past six months. Her father had remarried and she had inherited the wicked stepmother of the west. And since that moment the boy's castle had become her refuge. He did nothing to stop her from doing so.

Of course he wanted her there. He was in love with her. And she with him. It was the perfect little arrangement really. The girl would come over whenever hell broke loose at her home and he would be happy to accommodate. Besides, having her over meant he could look at her whenever he wanted. Touch her, kiss her, hold her, hear her voice and that magical laugh. Though on this particular occasion, the two were downtown, sitting in Eli's vintage hearse, Morty, looking out at the stars. His parents had friends over so the two had taken the opportunity to go for a night drive.

"Did you _see_ the look on his face, it was priceless!" Eli looked down at the girl in his arms, smiling at the way she found so much humour in the events of the school hours the day before. "I mean, it was so completely embarrassing for him, I could feel the embarrassment, you know? But it was so perfect. Ah, I just want to go back and relive that moment again and again."

"You find way too much joy from other peoples' expense." Looking up from her position on the bench, Julia raised an eyebrow and chuckled a little. Eli merely smirked and placed a gentle kiss on the girl's forehead. His small actions of affection would never grow old to her. The boy was her everything. Someone she knew that she could see herself loving forever. Just like they'd said to each other time and time again.

But small actions of affection like that, at least when they were alone, never stayed just that. And Julia knew that she wanted this to be one of those moments. So with a smile curving upon her lips she slowly leaned up from their embrace and kissed the corner of her lover's mouth. A second time, a third time. Until her lips were flush against his own. She moved them swiftly across his and rather quickly Eli got the memo. Carefully, as he always did, he rose over the girl, shifting so that Julia was on her back on the seat bench and he was hovering her body.

His hand began to move up and down her torso, feeling the curve of her body against his skin. She was beautiful. Ever single inch of her. Eli treasured moments like these and learned early on not to take any of them for granted. He kissed her lips with delicate passion, trying to consume himself with the entirety of her. Julia was his all. She was the one he went to when he was hurt, upset or confused. Happy, excited or anything else. He would have moments where his emotions were that of hers when she was furious and he could switch them in a second. But Julia knew that he would never stay mad or upset for long. Though she found his emotion changes quite strange she found it all the same intriguing which only made her love for the boy grow stronger through the year they'd been together.

Julia moved her hands to he base of Eli's neck and shoulders, pressing gentle messages into his skin as she continued to kiss him. And with as amazing as she felt in that moment, with as amazing as Eli always made her feel, there was still this twitch in the pit of her stomach that wouldn't go away. In fact, it hadn't gone away since the previous Sunday, which was now a week in the past. But she tried to ignore it. She tried _so hard_ to ignore it. Because she knew that if she didn't she'd break. And so would he.

She knew it was a bad idea. Keeping such things from her best friend. Her boyfriend. Her lover. But she just couldn't bring it upon herself to tell him. Sure she loved him. She loved him _desperately_. Which was her reasoning for not saying a word. But she also knew that if she loved him as much as she said she did, there was always the honesty factor that would have to come in. And it didn't matter what Eli did, how he kissed her or touched her that nagging voice in the back of her mind was just not going to leave her alone.

"Eli?" She breathed between kisses, only getting a hum in reply. She sighed as his lips glided across hers, not wanting the moment to end. She knew that once it did that things weren't going to really pick back up in the same direction they seemed to be heading in right now. Julia could tell that quickly, Eli was falling into that _mood_. And usually once there, that was it.

She could feel his fingertips brushing against the smooth skin of her side, slowly creeping up her body, her shirt moving up at the same pace. And part of her really wanted to just ignore it all and give into the moment. Heck, if everything was fine she would have. That's what they did. They were intimate. Not always, but in times like these they definitely were. These kind of slow, passionate moments. Though Julia knew that if it kept going she'd regret it soon after all was done.

Grabbing his wrist, Julia pulled Eli's hand back down her body and next to her on the bench. A bit confused by the reaction, Eli pulled away, keeping his lips close to hers and looked into her eyes. He wasn't upset. He wasn't worried he'd done something wrong. No. He just…smiled. He smiled and placed a careful kiss to her cheek and that was that.

"Not feelin' it?" he questioned, his voice at a soft whisper. Julia sighed and began to sit up, pulling herself out from underneath Eli. He followed her motions and sat almost Indian-style in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"There's…something we need to talk about…" she told him, trying to figure out a way to say their dilemma in the best way possible. Julia tried to calm herself, but the look on Eli's face put all of that to hell. His eyes widened before hers and his jaw dropped. But instead of a fierce reply she was expecting, there was a look of fear. Worry.

"Oh god…" he breathed, trying to seem like he wasn't panicking too much. He had the tendency to worry…a horrible tendency to worry. It was actually something that drove Julia a bit insane at times. Leaning over, the boy took his girlfriend's hands in his and looked into her eyes desperately. "Y-you're…but we- we were safe. I make sure every time and you said you were on the pill and we always check before things happen and I –."

"_Eli_, stop it." Bewildered his jaw shut immediately, unknowing of how Julia's reaction was so different to hers. Was she not freaking out inside? Or maybe she already had… "I'm not pregnant."

The boy sat back, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Oh. Well…then what's wrong?"

This was it. This was the make or break moment. Mostly break. The moment that Julia had been planning over and over in her mind since Sunday. The moment that had been making her sick all week. There was no other way around it. Eli knew there was something wrong now and there was no backing out of it. She wasn't sure if she could do this or not. Tell him. In this way. At all. She'd once thought about telling him over text or in a note or message but that just seemed way too tacky to her. That would be the worst. She had to tell him face to face just like this.

"Remember how last week I was partnered with Mike for our science project?" Eli cringed at the mention of the guy. Mike Thompson. The guy who would chase after him in their younger years just to catch him and pound on him. And when Julia had first told Eli about the partnership, Eli almost refused to let her work with him in fear that he'd do something to hurt her. He had a bit of a protective nature about him. Also something Julia wasn't fond of one hundred percent of the time. But instead of saying a word about his opinions, Eli just nodded.

"Well…" she continued slowly. "Well I ended up going to his house to work on it-."

"Did he hurt you? What did he do to you?" Eli scooted closer to his lover, gripping her hands tighter but she just pulled away, taking her fingers from his and scooted back until her back was against the passenger door of the car.

"No, Eli…he hurt _you_…_I_ hurt you." Eli cocked his head to the side, waiting for the explanation. "I hurt you. I…I slept with him."

Silence. Not a word. Not a sound. The worst reaction you could possible receive. Which Julia had thought that shouting would be. But this was…much, _much _worse. With shouting came emotion. With crying, with yelling, with anything came emotion. Thoughts were thrown into the air and there was communication. But this was torture. She didn't know what was going on in that mind of his. Had no clue. He was hurt, she could see that by the look in his eyes but was he mad? How upset was he? Did he…hate her?

"Eli…I'm so, _so sor-."_

"Get out."

Thick. The air was thick and suffocating. The car that the two were in seemed smaller than before. The green irises in front of her were suddenly hidden by the covering of Eli's skin and thick lashes. It was surreal, the way things seemed to play out. Julia slid to her side of the bench and stared out the windshield. Her breath shaky, her palms sweaty, her head spinning. She couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Eli's mind at that moment. But as soon as she opened the door to the car, thinking that was it, he stopped her.

"Why would you do this?" he whispered. "Why the _hell_ would you do this?"

The girl shook her head, not understanding why she'd done it herself. Thinking back on the night there really was no rhyme nor reason to the event. It just…happened. "I don't know," was all she could seem to muster from her dry lips.

"Did it cross your mind even once that it was a bad idea? Is this what happens when I'm not with you? You just…you _forget_ that I'm your boyfriend?" Confused by the accusation, Julia turned to Eli and scrunched her face. Before she could utter a response, Eli was at it again. "How do I know that this isn't the only time you've done this? How many other times have you guys hooked up? Tell me!"

Taken aback by Eli's sudden rage, Julia shook her head and just scoffed. "Never, _Eli_. That was the only time. Do you really think I'd just go around sleeping with people all the time?"

"For all I know you have been!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" With Eli's continued spoken thought process, Julia switched from regret to angry in a matter of seconds. But it seemed that Eli had done the change of pace even quicker. He'd always been one to turn in a matter of moments. It was strange to her.

"You cheated on me, how am I supposed to trust that you've only done it once?!"

"Because, I'm not some whore, Eli, I have some standards."

"Are you sure about that!? Cheating once is an okay standard you have? You know, I don't even give a shit about how many times, you cheated and you know what, you can have whoever you want now! Just go have sex with Mike and all of them. You're single now, so I'm not holding you back!"

Julia stared at Eli in shock at the words coming from his lips and just shook her head. It pained her deeply that he'd think all she wanted was sex. It was _one_ mistake. Just one. Sure, it was a big one and she deserved the break up but him saying these things to her…she just felt it was out of line. "You're a fucking asshole," she seethed, climbing out of the car.

The door slammed shut behind Julia as she exited the vehicle, getting on her bike that was next to it. She moved the kickstand and turned in the direction of her home, biking off into the darkness. Eli watched the girl go, tears stinging his eyes and threatening to show themselves down his cheeks. He was never one to cry like this. But Julia's confession broke him. After all he'd done for her…was he really nothing to her?

Eli took in a deep breath and stared after her. He was mad. He was hurt, he was confused. But at the same time…something just didn't feel right. He wanted to just blame it on the shock of her sleeping with someone else and that they'd just broken up but he just couldn't. There was something that didn't feel right in his stomach. Maybe it was the way she'd left. Eli never let her bike home by herself in the dark. Or walk home alone. It was too dangerous.

And just because she'd done these things, he still loved her. Of course he did, that's why it'd hurt so much when he was informed on the truth. Without another thought, Eli turned the key in Morty's ignition and started to drive down the path which lead to Julia's home. The road she'd just began to bike down. She couldn't have gotten too far. And without any traffic, he could catch up with her pretty quickly and make sure she got home okay.

As he continued to drive down the roads, the sinking feeling in Eli's stomach only grew worse. There was just something so extremely off and he couldn't figure out why. With only a few more minutes passing, the headlights of Eli's car put a spotlight on a girl in the distance riding her bike down the road. Her shoulders shook as she made her way into the night, she was crying. Eli shook his head, trying to keep his own from falling.

He'd only closed his eyes for a second. One second. And in that second, his ears informed him on what his eyes had failed to see. Screaming. Screeching tires. _Crashing_. He was going to throw up. Eli jerked the car to the side of the road and slammed on his breaks. Not even bothering to turn the car off, he parked and got out, running over to where his sight was glued.

"JULIA!" _Fast, fast, fast, run fast, fast, fast_. The words echoed in his mind over and over. The words that had always gone through his mind when he ran away from something. Someone. Now to someone. But it didn't matter the situation. The person chasing was always _faster_. "JULIA!"

Eli fell to his knees as soon as he'd reached the girl. Her bike broken in the middle of the street. _Her broken in the middle of the street_. Everything blurred. He could make out her figure, the blood, the fact that the car he'd heard was now nowhere in site, a license plate number nowhere in his mind. The only sound was her heavy breathing, the grasping for air. And the blood, the blood, the blood.

"I need an ambulance!" He didn't remember how the phone had gotten into his hands. He hadn't remembered when it was no longer the two of them. When a crowd of people showed. The cars stopped around them. How he'd gotten the blood on his hands. Why he thought placing his hand on her head would make the bleeding go away. Where was her helmet, where was her helmet?

"I'm sorry, I should've driven you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

There wasn't much Eli comprehended that night. The kiss to the lips, the blood on his skin, the lifeless eyes. The scent of his father's car. Everything was surreal. This was a dream. He was dreaming. This wasn't possible. None of this was possible. It was quick. Too quick. One second. He'd closed his eyes for one second.

When they'd finally opened, all Eli could see was darkness. The faint outlines of clothing on the floor, his bookcase and the pillow in his peripheral. _Get out._ This was prison. _Get out_. This was his fault. _Get out_. It was hell. It looked like his room. But it couldn't have been. His hand gripped the covers as he pulled them up over his shaking body. Not being able to stand the headache and burning tears, Eli closed his eyes. Just hours ago she was there. But now she wasn't in his arms. As much as he tried his hardest for her to be there.

Six months later and it all played in his mind. But six months later, the feeling of her in his arms was only a memory. And six months later the memory was fading. He could only seem to hold her in this state of uncertainty. The moments where he was so tired he couldn't think and the moment his body would shut down during the night. Those were the only moments he could have her.

_Stay with me until I fall asleep, stay with me. _

_**A.N. – My emotions are gone. ;aslkdjf Hopefully this was somehow satisfactory in your books of decent Julia/Eli stories. Tried my best on this one, inspired by the song Kiss it Better by He is We. – sogoodatmending **_


End file.
